However, even the staid American Medical Association seems to give a pass to doctors who become involved with -patients.
That, my dear, may be the green light that your surgeon is waiting for, but don't hold your breath.
I was once so overly cautious and stupid that I guessed—without researching it, I might add—that doctors were ethically prohibited from pursuing romantic relationships with any patient, current or former.
Yes, it was a stretch, but one must leave no stone unturned in trying to explain once-in-a-blue-moon events, such as a surgeon morphing from a brusque doctor to a sweet-as-honey man. If I had to commit to one explanation, I would not hesitate to guess that it is plain ol' hormones—not fear of a lawsuit—that is motivating your surgeon.
I met those patients in the ER, so they were minutes away from being ex-patients. You don't know how much your surgeon knows about the ethical guidelines governing physician-patient romance. Your surgeon may be as uninformed as I was about this topic, so you cannot assume that he will make the first overt move if his seeming affection is real. However, if you wish to maximize your chance of success, there is something that you must do.
In retrospect, I probably could have called them or sent a note afterward, but instead I chose the safer alternative and went back to playing with my transistors, diodes, integrated circuits, capacitors, inductors, resistors, and other gizmos. For heaven's sake, I graduated in the top 1% of my class in medical school and could tell you things about parts of your body you don't even know you have, yet I didn't know the first thing about something that mattered much more to me: if a woman who looked like a Swedish model basically threw herself at me and hugged me for the better part of an hour (it really happened; I recounted this story in ) . One important preface or addendum will make him much more likely to say yes.
I won't paint with a broad brush and claim that were pediatricians or family practice docs. Let's just say that surgical residencies are not conducive to producing warm and fuzzy human beings. But why wasn't this apparent attraction evident from the start? No, he didn't need weeks to figure out that he is attracted to you. Nope, there is a lingering doubt that something else may explain the surgeon's 180-degree behavioral transformation.
What could make the surgeon chat about non-medical things for a half-hour and do the dirty work that he would ordinarily delegate to his nurse or PA? Your message suggests that your surgery was on your leg. At the top of that list is a slim chance that he botched something pertaining to your surgery and his sudden warmth is his way of mitigating the chance that you will sue him. Some errors are immediately obvious, and some are not.
However much he would like to wrap his alluring hands around your body, there is one thing preventing him from doing what men usually do in such cases: ask for a date. His medical license or, more to the point, his desire to keep it.